Steps to Successful Stepparenting
If you are not already immersed in adjusting to your new role as a single parent or stepparent, get ready for an adventure. The first thing you need to know is that you are not alone.
Did you know?
60 percent of all first marriages eventually end in divorce.
About 75 percent of divorced people eventually remarry.
About 65 percent of remarriages involve children from the prior marriage to form stepfamilies.
60 percent of all remarriages eventually end in divorce.
35 percent of all children born in the 1980s will experience life in a single-parent family for about five years before their 18th birthday.
The following are excerpts from a booklet entitled "Dealing with Discipline," co-authored by Elizabeth Einstein and used here with her permission. The booklet discusses how important it is to building successful stepfamilies for couples to address discipline issues early in the relationship.
The ideal time to begin a mutual plan for rearing the children is during courtship. Elizabeth Einstein "What role does a stepparent play in discipline? Should stepparents be involved in disciplining stepchildren at all? Eventually, yes. Waiting to become involved in any disciplinary action gives the stepparent time to be included in the children's thinking. It also provides the time for trust and respect to develop, for bonds to be built, the necessary base from which discipline works.
The ideal time to begin a mutual plan for rearing the children is during courtship.
Elizabeth Einstein
Discipline is a form of love. All children need rules, limits, and boundaries to feel their parents love them. Elizabeth Einstein Until time and healthy relationship bonds make disciplining possible, it is wise to let the biological parent take care of the discipline for these reasons:
Discipline is a form of love. All children need rules, limits, and boundaries to feel their parents love them.
Youngsters are used to a certain kind of discipline from their parents. With so many other changes happening in their lives, consistency in this area is important.
Waiting to discipline stepchildren gives youngsters time to build a stronger relationship with their stepparent.
The stepparent is not forced into the role of the "heavy" and can remain in a more neutral position and focusing on nurturing issues.
The new couple has time to merge their diverse approaches to parenting and disciplining by either talking them through or taking parenting classes.
The complete "Dealing with Discipline" booklet is contained in a series of booklets entitled "Stepfamily Living." The series of booklets is available for $11.95 (plus $2.50 shipping) by contacting Ms. Einstein directly at P O Box 6760, Ithaca, NY 14851.
There is also a multitude of articles, suggestions, and support groups to help with the wide variety of issues which stepparents will encounter.
Additional Articles/Resources
Stepfamily Foundation
Stepfamily Association of America
Children and Divorce
Idaho CareLine: In Idaho, Dial 2-1-1 or 800-926-2588